“I’m no expert, but...” - 5 Ways to Stop Sabotaging Your Influence
Whether it be on coaching calls, masterminds or networking sessions, I often hear women preface what they are about to say with the phrase “I’m not an expert, but…”.
While I can totally understand why someone who is actually not an expert on a subject would use that phrase, I often hear it from women who actually ARE experts in the area, that have built beautiful, solid careers because they are indeed experts. What is happening?
It’s a thing we do sometimes. We minimize ourselves before we say something that may have some weight to it.
We remove ourselves from the spotlight, before we even step into it.
The example I use often is this one: Would you hire a plumber who comes into your home, looks at an issue with your pipes and starts their diagnostic with “I’m not an expert, but…”?
Likely not. We need to stop sabotaging our influence.
Hear me now: As women in business, we MUST step into more courage, power and influence when we speak. It’s essential, not only for our own self-belief, but for potential clients to have faith and confidence in us, and AHEM, FOR THE WORLD.
I know, it's easier said than done, especially if you’re making a move from an environment that held you down or kept you stuck. I see women coming out of the corporate world all the time, who are just not used to their opinions being valued, so they get used to the "back seat" and speak with an apologetic tone. Guess what though, you’re here. Doing it. In the ring. Making it happen. Your opinions mean a WHOLE lot, and yes. You are an expert.
For those wanting to once and for all break down that "I'm no expert, but..." belief, here are 5 ways to stop sabotaging your influence and step into your awesome expertise.
- Listen to your own language like you listen to your best friend. Stop using phrases like “I’m not an expert, but”…, and start using phrases like “here’s what I know…”. Being solid, grounded and empowered when you speak will have people actually pay attention.
- Recognize and follow uncomfortable excitement. Do you know that feeling? It doesn’t feel wrong, but it doesn’t feel comfortable. It feels right for YOU and like it will require a higher version of yourself to step in. These situations are the ones that prove to you how much you can actually accomplish, so follow them.
- Stop putting other people on a pedestal. Just because someone else has achieved great things, doesn’t mean you can’t. It also doesn't mean they are better than you in any way. Rather than see them way up there as little old you from way down here, know that we are all capable of achieving great things. Be inspired, curious about how they got there, appreciate what they've done, and go ahead and make it happen yourself.
- Start a book of proof. I love reminding myself of all the ways I have helped people in the past. It allows me to tap into the me that is fueled with passion and purpose. A book a proof is literally created by you. When someone mentions how much you have changed their life or shaped the way they see things now, you can write it down and go back and look over it. We are so quick to forget all of the amazing things we have done, and so fixated on where we didn’t do so well. Let’s fixate on the good through our very own proof.
- Step into all the spotlights. If you’re given opportunities to be seen, speak, share on a podcast, introduce yourself in a networking event, whatever the case, go for it. If opportunities arise for you to shine, go ahead and SHINE! It doesn't matter who hears it. You're flexing that spotlight muscle and that will take you so far!
At the end of the day, entrepreneurship takes a different level of confidence, that we have to step into if we want to be seen as the experts that we are. It doesn't happen overnight for ANYONE, but becoming aware, and listening in to the expert inside that wants to SHINE is the first step.
In Happiness & Health
Natalie Colalillo
Founder & CEO Happy Healthy Women
Instagram: @happy_healthy_nat
2 Responses
Dunia
I loved this 5 steps it’s so true, I stop myself from using negative words when sharing with people. Definitely mind your words, be empowered 😍
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Lucille Necas
November 26, 2021
Great points Natalie! I constantly see examples of the contradiction between the gifts women display and how they devalue them. Your strategies for overcoming the sabotage are practical and effective. Thanks.